When I entered teenage, it felt like I’d get rid of all the negativity that had haunted me for more than a decade . But little did I know, things would actually turn worse.
I started developing social anxiety, but had to pretend as if things were completely normal. A gnawing hollowness gradually started developing within, and the cavity only became bigger and bigger. That time marked the birth of a feeling, which made me weaker.
15 years into this world, things started to change rapidly. The sadness v/s time graph was exponential, and I even thought to completely give up on life.
I failed in many things, my relationship with people, way of approaching things, understanding the true meaning of life, mental peace and expressing my feelings. I wouldn’t cry often, because I couldn’t. Because I’ve always been told – crying only makes you weak.
Imagine what would happen if you had things enclosed within the four chambers of your heart for more than a decade and a half. I’m not saying that I was brought up poor, or didn’t experience the outside world. The biggest mistake I did to myself was – worrying about the society.
I was conscious about everything I did, because I felt the world around was eating me. I did things which my mates didn’t do, and I couldn’t do stuff which others did. I was brought up in a totally different way, and slowly, I failed to understand my own self.
Now I’m 18. I’m proud of the way I’ve evolved, and I do realise that I can actually survive. It’s often said that you are born alone, so you’ve to live and grow on your own, and die alone. But there are a few things you need to remember.
Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling is a lie. And if you just hold on, someone will find you and help make it better. Because we all need a little help sometimes – someone to help us hear the music in our world. To remind us that it won’t always be this way. That someone is out there right now.
Ask yourself whether each of your relationships drags you down or lifts you up. Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people is half the battle of living a happy, successful life.
Sometimes we accidentally allow small problems to escalate and dominate our lives. If we get overcharged a few cents, it is irritating, but don’t let it ruin your day. There will always be small issues that irritate us; the secret is to be able to give them the miniscule level of importance they deserve.
Don’t regret intimate relationships that don’t work out. Because they will only help you find the right partner for you, and better appreciate them for everything they do and everything they are.
We are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic we feel about our own situation, there will be others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie so you will continue to feel sorry for yourself.
Be vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel, to be open and authentic. Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around you and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome new opportunities.
No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible. Or they may incessantly suggest that the idea or dream as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares. When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them. Instead, forget that they exist. They will only waste your time and energy.
Everyone wants a perfect ending. But over the years I’ve learned that some of the best poems don’t rhyme, and many great stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing, embracing change, and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.
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